School Pride Scholarship Entry
Last week, I was accepted to University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA) as an English major. After getting the news, I was flooded with different emotions. First, joy that brought me to tears, then awe, then the overwhelming feeling of horror at the thought of not knowing anyone when I get there. After some careful consideration (and self-consoling), I realized that this is not entirely true. I slowly came to the realization that what makes my future school so unique is the ability to have meaningful and prosperous relationships right off the bat with brilliant individuals—my professors.
For the past year, I have been researching and investigating exactly with whom I would study if I was accepted into the English program at UCLA. What I failed to realize is that, although these professional figures are intimidating due to their profound intellect and wealth of knowledge, they will essentially be friends of mine that will pass on knowledge that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. What make UCLA so remarkable are the close student-professor relationships that allow for comprehensive and individualized learning. All these world-renowned scholars, specialists, and education enthusiasts are there to support me. This is not to say that I will not make any peer friendships, but I often forget that teachers are our friends too. They are what make up the strong foundation of UCLA and I am confident that my professors’ expertise in the field of English will allow me to build my own stable foundation that I can take with me on my pursuit of becoming a professor as well.
There is a unique sense of unity on the UCLA campus that is not only shared between students, but also the faculty. The passion that these professors have for teaching and the amount of effort they put into translating everything they know into tangible ideas are truly what make the school so incredible. I have no doubt that I will gain so much from going to school at UCLA. I now feel secure with the idea of leaving home and attending school in a new city. I may not know any fellow students when I get there, but I am so enthusiastic to meet the friends of mine that will be waiting for me when I get there. At UCLA, these people are my professors.
This scholarship is sponsored by CenturyLinkQuote.com.
I am exactly where I need to be.
I’m not talking to my sister.
I have absolutely no idea where I will be going to school in the fall.
I’m sunburned.
But I’m that kind of happy that is right on the borderline of content and bursting with joy. Looking back, the past three years have been the biggest struggle for me. I kept beating myself up for not doing better in high school, and then beating myself up again for not doing even better in community college. It wasn’t really a constantly depressing scenario for me, but there was always that nagging thought in the back of my mind that I was falling behind, not living up to my full potential, etc. And part of that was true. I felt like there was something wrong with me. My sister constantly reminded me that if I didn’t keep up with my overambitious friends, I would feel the pang of regret and isolation when I saw them all graduating college ahead of me. (This might be true at some point. More on this later.)
I don’t know when the turning point was for me. There was a point when I slowly started to want to do things for myself. A point when I got that sense of urgency that wasn’t there before. Part of it has had to do with becoming someone’s girlfriend, which inevitably just makes me examine myself more. Part of it has had to do with working as a server and being around people who have been in the restaurant industry for far too long and are jaded and bitter. Some of it has had to do with learning what actions (and foods) are healthy for me. Part of it has just been giving myself time to experience life and really imagining what it would be like if I never did find what it is I’m passionate about. As simple as it sounds, I had to make my own mistakes and put my focus on the wrong things before I finally focused in on the right things.
My sister doesn’t make me feel good about myself. I’m not resentful. It’s just the way it is right now. She feels that I have too much potential to be working at a restaurant, in the same city, in my third year of community college. The ironic thing is that all of those things she feels are below me have been the very same things that have made me so much more appreciative and thankful for where I am going and the plans I finally have.
I needed to see my friends at prestigious colleges, gaining the Freshman 15, bonding with their roommates, because I didn’t even know I wanted all that until I didn’t have it. It might sound a little sad that I missed out on those fun things, but I had a completely different experience that I couldn’t have planned for, which was all my own.
So the thing is, I’m pretty sure there will be that sense of panic when I see my close friends graduating from college and I’m just getting ready to begin my senior year. It’ll be okay, though. I’m not completely lost anymore. I have more confidence than I did before. I have reached that turning point that I never thought I’d reach. I think it’s a little naive to say that I have no regrets, because I do. I’ve just learned to love my mistakes and transform that regret into something bittersweet.
TMI Friday?
I am so so so so glad that finals are over. I will have time to sleep and workout and make a goddamn meal (rather than just shove cereal into my face and chug water). This whole week, I have been super bloated, burping, my stomach has been turning, and I have had a perpetual pounding headache. I need to get outside and move. Hurrah!
I got an A in Statistics!
This was a big feat for me because I hadn’t taken a math class in years. I was one of those nagging students that would not leave the professor alone about my grade this semester. So today after the final, he shooed me away with his arms and said, “You got an A. Gogogogo!” I skipped out of his office.
**I was known as “The Genius” in class this fall. I didn’t dub myself that. They called me that. No big deal.
I got a 99 on my LIT 6A paper!!!!!!
(And FYI, she has a harsh eye.) Lalalalalala!
*Perhaps it was because I wrote about Paradise Lost, knowing my professor wrote her thesis on it.
**Perhaps I don’t care because I might possibly get an A in the course!
I’m also debating what I want my minor to be.
Public Heath or Women’s Studies.
I’m torn! TORN!
UC application time is around the corner!
I have realized that I cannot fill out my applications after 11 p.m. because I get tired and my mind shifts into the “SHIT. I’M NOT GETTING IN ANYWHERE. LOOK AT THIS GODDAMN TRANSCRIPT!!!!!! SHIT. FUCK.” mode. I am anxious and obsessed with one school. I need to stay focused.
